Because of You

Not now not ever will I be the same.
I never wanted this, but now I became
A person that I did not want to be.
The pain in my eyes if you could only see.
Because of you,
I can never fall asleep.
I take a knife and kut so deep.
Because of you,
I wish I would die.
I want to leave with not even a goodbye.
Because of you,
I cant take a step with out fear.
I cant go a day with out shedding a tear.
Why? Will you tell me why you did it?
I kut my legs, and watch my flesh split.
As my sweet blood fills the crack.
So bitter and sour,my blood so black.
Because of you,
My smile is my sheild it hides the pain each day,
The pain so extreme that will never go away.
Because of you,
I will never be the same as all the girls.
No pink little dress, or hair of curls.
Just darkness, a shadow that fades.
Only black, I have no other shades.
Because of you,
My heart is broken, My happiness lost.
The peices so sharp, bleeding and tossed.
Because of you,
Im afraid in the shadows, and no one will look.
I cry in fear, my smile you took.
Because of you,
I hate who I have became.
Sad, and lost everday is the same.
Looking in the mirror as tears run down my face.
One after another like its some kind of race.
Not knowing who that person is looking at me.
I wish I knew, I wish I could see.
Something other than pain to feel.
The person I once was, with a smile so real.
Because of you,
My tears are becoming dry.
Not having one day, that I do not cry.
Because of you,
I cut my skin, suffering and wondering why.
Waiting for nothing but my time to die.

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This poem is dedicated to Jon... U SUCK!!